i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Barsexuality is the new black.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
