You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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