so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
