My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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