you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
