the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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