"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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