It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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