i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
