my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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