I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
