Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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