Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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