Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
