So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
