Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
