i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
