omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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