My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
