It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
