would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
