tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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