While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
