Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dignity is for republicans.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
