you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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