Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
