Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
