i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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