i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
