My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
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