last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
