I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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