I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
