Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You ruined the universe
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
