Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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