Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
