When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
