even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
