so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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