i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You smell like stripper and shame
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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