Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
