I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
