and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
