our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize