After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
