Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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