He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
