I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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