I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
