I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Even my vagina gasped.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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