your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
