dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize