HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize