Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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