You really coming over, don't trick.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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