Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
