You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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