no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
