i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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